Most days, my job is fairly rewarding and not too depressing. For those who don't know, I am a social worker. I work for a company that is affiliated with DCS. We provide supervised visitation and case management for families who have had their children removed or are at risk for having their children removed. The main chunk of my hours are spent in supervised visitation, where I transport children from their foster/relative placements to see their biological parents. I have to supervise/observe their every move to make sure parents/children are interacting appropriately.
I've got one case I've been doing visits with for about 6 months. I've grown relatively attached to these kids and am probably a bit harder on their bio parents because of it. I want the absolute best for the children and sometimes you just know that upon reunification, the kids are being sent home because the situation is "good enough"... NOT the absolute best. Regardless, these kids will probably be reunified with their parent in the next few months and we all just have to make the best of it.
One of the kids' birthday was Friday. We had a visit on Thursday and celebrated at that visit. Her dad and grandpa came and brought her gifts and cake and all the kids got Happy Meals. The girl got exactly what she wanted for her birthday and enjoyed about 5 minutes of attention from her family. After that, her grandpa left and her dad went to play with her brothers. No singing Happy Birthday, no big show of blowing out the candles... I'm not even sure if anyone really "wished" her a Happy Birthday. Basically, it was like... Hey, here's your presents, I'm going to go do something else now. No matter how many times she begged her family to play with her and her new toys, the answer was always, "in a minute" or "we're busy right now." I tried to make a point to interact with her because I knew she was disappointed that they were supposed to be celebrating her birthday and no one was paying attention to her. However, regardless of how much attention I gave her, it was not the same as the attention she craved and deserved from her father and brothers.
This made me think back to all the birthdays my brothers and I have had... regardless of what was going on in our family, we were ALWAYS given special treatment for our birthdays. Our parents made it a point to let us know that they were thankful for our existence and that we were loved beyond measure. I woke up to a hand-written poster on my door wishing me a Happy Birthday every year. We always got to pick what we wanted for dinner and what kind of cake/ice cream we wanted. We ALWAYS sing Happy Birthday and were fortunate enough to be able to have birthday parties with friends when we wanted.
This girl turned 10 on Friday. I honestly can't remember what I did for my 10th birthday, but I KNOW that it was special. Every birthday was, even if I didn't appreciate it at the time. However, seeing the alternative and knowing the pain and hurt this girl was feeling, I can now appreciate every attempt my parents have ever made at making me feel like I was wanted and that I was delighted in.
This girl and I can relate to each other fairly easily because we both have two younger brothers. I remember feeling left out when my brothers played together, so most of the time I tried to join them... I had my own set of Pokemon cards, I tried to keep up with them in sports, and I watched wrestling and Cartoon Network with them on a nightly basis. My brothers have always been pretty good about letting me be part of whatever they're doing (well, as far as I can remember), but it's obviously not the same as having a sister to hang out with. Thankfully, I have a mother who paid attention to me and made me feel that I belonged. This girl doesn't have that.
After the visit was over, it was clear that the girl was disappointed in her birthday "celebration." Sometimes when the kids are good, I let them pick out songs to listen to on the trip back to their foster home. This time, I let the girl pick all the songs. The last song we listened to was "Firework" by Katy Perry. This is the girl's favorite song and although she doesn't know all the words, she sings the chorus as loud as she possibly can. Normally, this is distracting and annoying. This time, I let her sing her lungs out.
It brought new meaning to the song... All my life, I've had friends and family telling me that I am special and that I'm wanted. She is not that privileged. Katy Perry is probably one of the only people telling her that she is worth it. I know how hard it was being a girl throughout my preteen/adolescent years and even now as a young woman how difficult it is when there are so many negative messages that society likes to throw at us... Thankfully, I've had several positive influences in my life who have guided me along the right path. I pray often that a strong, positive female influence will come into this little girl's life and let her know how special she is and how much she is loved. I want her to know that her life is so precious and that she is worth it. I want her to know that she is a "firework."
No comments:
Post a Comment