"God bless you."

This past weekend, I hosted a nice little pity party for myself. Sorry if you weren't invited, but you didn't miss much... I left the party every once in awhile to get out and live, but in the end, I kept going back to this party. It consumed my life... I wasted so much time being in this funk. I was hoping to wake up Monday morning and be done with it as if it was just a 48 hour bug and then it would be over. Unfortunately, this was not the case. 


I stayed up way too late Sunday night and got up way too early Monday morning, so I already started off on the wrong foot. I had a couple appointments scheduled for work and  my second appointment was in Elkhart. I pulled up to this beautiful house with a nice minivan and a Jaguar out front... this is NOT a typical home visit. I enter the home, which has amazing furnishings, the biggest TV I've ever seen in my life, and pictures of sweet, beautiful children all around. I sit down with this mom who had her children removed about a month ago as she goes through her story and cries and begs that I do something to help her. I reassure that I will do everything I can do and ask that cooperates with services as well. As I leave, having comforted the woman as much as I could, she thanks me and says, "God bless you."

As I was driving back to South Bend from Elkhart, I'm considering this case and wondering how much of what mom has just told me is true. I played her story over and over in my mind, praying for the family and exploring her service options. As I was getting ready to throw myself into solving every single one of her problems, my own issues came back and my pity party began again. God has a sense of humor. 

For most of my life, I've coped with my problems by keeping myself busy. I throw my entire self into helping others and doing other projects so that I don't have to think about the things that are bothering me. It's just easier that way. I'll get to my own stuff when I have time... which ends up being never. However, in this moment of trying to focus on someone else's problems, I was severely hit with my own. I couldn't think about anything else. 

I was listening to MercyMe throughout my trip and the song "Beautiful" came on in the midst of my party. 

Amen. As I was listening to the song, I was immediately able to shift my thoughts to praise and prayer. I asked God to take over because I knew this was not something I would be able to overcome on my own. As I was driving and praying and genuinely fighting these annoying emotions, I felt this OVERWHELMING sense of joy. Like, literally, God drew a smile on my face and it stayed there the rest of the day. I felt refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to go. It was a MAJOR change to my demeanor. I mean, I definitely don't doubt that God works in crazy ways, but this was beyond what I ever could have imagined... I mean, my emotions were so lame and pathetic and there were SO many things going on at the moment with other people who were much more in need of grace, but He still chose to bring me through that dark moment in my life. I felt absolutely freed from the emotions that had become such a burden in the last few days. 


I had been blessed. Thank you, client. Thank you, God.